Whether you are in conflict with colleagues, your spouse and or family members, it helps to give constructive feedback that may make the situation a little more manageable.
Feedback is a response to someone who self-discloses to you and it serves to provide constructive information to increase the other person's self-awareness of his or her behaviour on you.
There are four main types of feedback: remaining silent, venting anger, expressing indifference (not responding to the other person's self-disclosure) and constructive feedback. Giving constructive feedback may or may not remove the other person's doubts; however, it does open up the possibility for change, whereas anger, silence and indifference do not.
Here are four key features to remember when giving constructive feedback:
1. Focus on 'I' statements- An 'I' statement is a statement about what you feel and or think (Example: 'I feel irritated when you nag at me'); it differs from 'You' statements, as these tell the other person how he or she is, thinks or feels (Example: 'You're such a nag).
2. Focus on the behaviour rather than on the person- When you focus on the person's behaviour, you are more likely to secure change. A person can change his or her behaviour, not himself or herself.
3. Focus feedback on what you observe rather than on your evaluations or judgments about what the behaviour means.
4. Remember that behaviours fall on a continuum- that is, people do not always behave in a particular way. |
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